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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23130577">Part One: Sonder</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/wannabe_someone/pseuds/wannabe_someone'>wannabe_someone</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>MJ takes over the world [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Genderqueer Character, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jewish Peter Parker, Multi, advocacy, knowing my mom will see this and projecting onto a character to hint at stuff i want, shitty mental health</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 07:15:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,064</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23130577</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/wannabe_someone/pseuds/wannabe_someone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sonder (n): The profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passed in the street, has a life as complex as one's own, which they are constantly living despite one's personal lack of awareness of it.</p><p>It had all led to this: ranting to Peter and Ned, the two people she knew deserved the truth after what had happened that summer. Peter, always idealistic, saying “Hey, maybe you should start your own organization, try to show people the problems Inhumans and mutants face.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Michelle Jones &amp; Ned Leeds &amp; Peter Parker, Michelle Jones &amp; Ned Leeds &amp; Peter Parker &amp; Original Character(s), Michelle Jones/Peter Parker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>MJ takes over the world [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662619</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Part One: Sonder</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>tw for self harm and shitty mental health, as well as a lot of internalized stuff, I could write an entire fic about MJ's problems</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>MJ doesn’t know how it got to this, just how it happened. She couldn’t help but see everything, hear everything, tell everything. She kept seeing her mother, afraid, driven away from her. </p><p>(In the middle of the night, she could hear her praying for her daughter’s own safety, for MJ’s father to not come back. Thankfully for both of them, he never did. Too scared of his own daughter, too disgusted by her Inhumanity to bother. At least her mother wasn’t afraid)</p><p>MJ had seen the people on the streets, hiding from the authorities, trying to get money. She’d heard their stories. They’d all been abandoned by their families, fired from their jobs when something happened, either they’d gone through Terrigenesis or somehow revealed their powers.</p><p>(They’d all been helping people. Every last one of them was a hero. But there was no place for them to go. Everyone was too afraid of them, would kick them out, even the shelters wouldn’t let them in. She’d asked one of the directors, using her powers to get the truth from her. Even then, she’d tried to avoid the question. The answer was not unexpected. She didn’t want to cause chaos among the other people staying there, even if she knew that she needed help. Apparently, there was a pecking order everywhere.)</p><p>It had all led to this: ranting to Peter and Ned, the two people she knew deserved the truth after what had happened that summer. Peter, always idealistic, saying “Hey, maybe you should start your own organization, try to show people the problems Inhumans and mutants face.”</p><p>MJ knew he had seen the problems firsthand. Back before the Decimation, he’d always had to try to stay one step ahead of Ross. She would say it was better, but he was still hiding from the press, trying to avoid the people out to kill him after Mysterio had outed him. Even now, all three of them were sitting alone, their cafeteria table a lonely island in a sea of people.</p><p>MJ saw Peter flinch as someone hissed something under their breath. If she had to guess, they had been saying the same thing that appeared on his locker after every weekend, the same thing that a shooter had yelled as he stormed into Peter’s synagogue, calling him a mutie, telling him to die, saying that he was a danger to everyone around him.</p><p>(When MJ thought about it, that had been the breaking point. The point where he’d drawn away from everyone, hiding in his room, showing up to school with yellow and purple splashed across his body like paint, but always hidden under long sleeves. The point where Ms. Potts and his aunt had called an intervention. He’d gone to therapy, and she could see that he was doing better. But it had still been hard.)</p><p>Walking from the subway to her apartment, she thought about what they’d said. She understood why, and she really, really wanted it. She’d always wanted to make a difference, but she’d never known how. But maybe… maybe she had a way.</p><p>She unlocked the door, then went to her room. Her mom heard the floor creak as she opened the door into her room. She sighed, then went back to what she was doing. Her mom did everything for her, supported her, worried about her, but she still didn’t understand why her daughter pushed her away.</p><p>MJ swung her backpack onto the bed in her room, pulling out her homework. She did it, only leaving to eat, sitting right across from her mother in the dark, silent kitchen. The only sound was the traffic, the yelling, everything that made up the cacophonous lullaby of New York. They ate in silence, a million thoughts bubbling, but never voicing them. Both worried about the other, trying to make sure their only family was all right. Neither of them could say it, wanting to protect the other from the world.</p><p>MJ finished, then stood up, rinsing her plate off in the tiny sink. “I’m going to my room.”</p><p>Her mother nodded. “Just make sure your work’s done. And please-” her voice broke a bit, as she tried to smile, “get to bed at a good time, all right?”</p><p>“I know, Mother.” </p><p>The mother winced as she heard that. Too formal, she thought, too fucking formal. Everything that had happened, and they still didn’t really have a close relationship. She had tried, but it never worked. By now, she’d accepted it. She supported her daughter in everything that she told her, was proud of her ambition and accomplishments, but in the end, she’d realized, the distance was all because of Michelle.</p><p>Back in her room, MJ did research. Too much research. Looking up what it takes to start these kinds of organizations, putting their goals in a google doc, trying to figure out what connections the three of them had.</p><p>They had nothing. They had their smarts, and their skills, but nothing else. They had no money, but they had ideas. The group chat was full of ways to try and get their message across, anything they could do, but nothing was easy, and nothing was helping.</p><p>(That winter, MJ finally broke. It had always been a problem, but she’d always been able to hide it. Her mom found her in the bathroom, a blade in her hand, and a series of cuts, straight lines across the inside of her bicep, all in various stages of healing. Then she saw the red, crimson from a fresh cut flowing down her daughter’s arm, and her daughter, her strong, unbreakable daughter crying, sobbing, every sharp thing she’d heard and seen destroying her from the inside.)</p><p>(MJ had always thought that she hadn’t done enough. She forced her emotions, her powers, all deep down inside her, trying to avoid the consequences. Even once she’d opened up, she couldn’t do enough to help the others. They were dying, out on the streets, whether killed or just denied their basic rights, forced out into the cold and being found the next morning.)</p><p>On the way to the hospital, her mother asked MJ, again and again, why she’d done this. The answer was always the same: I’ve never done enough. As she stood there, seeing her daughter suffer, she finally realized that the distance was all because her daughter was trying to protect her.</p><p>MJ was back at school 2 weeks later, right after winter break. She told nobody what had happened, but everybody knew. At lunch, there was no planning for their organization, just the two of them trying to help her.</p><p>(It might have been the therapy and everything else, but she was getting better. By the spring, they had a website and an instagram ready to go. All they had to do now was organize.)</p><p>What they were doing was spread through word of mouth only. Promos on their instagrams, polls, and eventually a DM. They decided to meet the following week, see what they all wanted.</p><p>That Sunday, a warm-ish day in April, MJ was pacing. She was pacing around and around the table Peter had gotten for their meeting at a cozy cafe. MJ didn’t think that they would join them, thinking that they would desert like everyone else who had responded.</p><p>“MJ, will you sit down for a second?,” Peter said. She ignored him, caught up in her own thoughts. </p><p>“MJ,” he said, more forcefully, catching her hand and holding it. </p><p>“What!?” she snapped, then winced internally. She didn’t want to seem cruel, she actually wasn’t, but stress always did this to her.</p><p>Peter met her eyes, practically radiating calm. “You’re getting kind of stressed, and I want to know if I can help.”</p><p>MJ sat down next to him, forcing herself to take deep breaths. “I’m starting to think that they’ll ditch us.”</p><p>Peter laced his fingers through hers. “Anyone who ditches this isn’t really committed anyway.”</p><p>MJ smiled faintly, letting Peter lay his head on her shoulder. “I guess you’re right,” she admitted, but her eyes still drifted back up to the clock that was placed right over a window seat. It still wasn’t even the time they’d agreed to meet yet. She cursed at herself again, annoyed that she forced herself to be here so ridiculously early.</p><p>A person burst through the door, panting, right as the clock chimed. They scanned the entire cafe, eyes skipping over the students studying, the parents out with their kids, and the couple who were arguing in the corner before their gaze landed on MJ and Peter.</p><p>They went up to them, eyes skipping all around the room, seeming on edge and tense. They went up to the table, trying to figure out if they were in the right place.</p><p>“You’re MJ, right?”</p><p>“Yes. You’re…”</p><p>They sat down in the chair across from MJ, putting a backpack on the table, right behind the plate holding Peter’s sandwich. MJ tracked the movement, seeing a purple and green pin on it, proclaiming she/they for everyone to see.</p><p>“Ari. I mean, technically Arianna, but I’m good with being called Ari,” Their leg was shaking at rapid speeds under the table and they looked very uncomfortable. “Sorry I’m late, I was just taking forever to leave, because my titties-” they gestured at their chest “-were not vibing with my aesthetic, so I didn’t want to leave the house, and then I was late, so seriously, I’m so sorry, I don’t want to bug you, I know I’m rambling.”</p><p>(Ari had never really felt feminine or masculine, or really like any gender, but for some reason, she couldn’t see herself as anything but female really. It was kind of like she was told that she was female, and even though she never really felt like it, anything else just felt weird. Her gender never changed, but she never really felt feminine either. She wanted to bring it up to her family, especially since she kind of wanted to get a binder, maybe, but she was too insecure to really bring it up.)</p><p>Peter had gone into full people pleasing mode, being his normal apologetic self, but MJ cut him off. “You were here on time, and you weren’t bugging anyone. We’re not offended. I’m MJ.”</p><p>Ari smiled a bit as Peter introduced himself, drumming her fingers on the table. MJ didn’t know why, but she focused on their fingernails, ones that had been half hidden by the giant sweatshirt they were wearing. They seemed weirdly glassy and reflective, something that she would have thought was some kind of nail polish if it wasn’t for why they were meeting here.</p><p>Peter was the first one to say something, very curious. “Are you an Inhuman?” They flushed, hiding their head in their sweatshirt, as Peter flailed mentally, trying to figure out what to say. “Not that I’m judging, I’m literally Spider-Man, I’m just curious, because it looks kind of like you were changed physically.”</p><p>“It’s- It’s fine,” they said, suddenly hiding their hands in their sweatshirt a bit more. “And yeah, I’m an Inhuman, one of the ones who was transformed after the Decimation. I can bend light, and now it’s like parts of my body are super reflective.”</p><p>The table went quiet as they stared at each other, both Peter and Ari looking quizzical. “Do I know you-?” </p><p>Both of them laughed, then they tried to start speaking, with MJ eventually saying what they were thinking. “You’re at Midtown.”</p><p>“How did you know?”</p><p>“I pay attention.”</p><p>Peter broke in. “She likes drawing people in crisis.”</p><p>They did peace signs. “Well then, you’re in the right place, because I’m a ball of constant queer panic.”</p><p>MJ coughed, trying to get the other’s attention so they could talk about what they wanted to do. It turned out that Ari had connections, and she could get them in with people as they got started. Eventually, they did have to leave, but it worked, and they were finally a step closer to their goal.</p><p>On the way to Peter’s apartment, MJ smiled. </p><p>“What’s going on?” </p><p>“I think- I think that we can actually do this.”</p><p>“Good. Now will you finally let me show you Star Trek?”</p><p>“All right, but only because the writers did a decent job of dealing with actual issues”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I projected onto Ari so much, the explanation of her gender is how I feel and I think mom will see this, so hi mom, I didn't want to tell you outright, but what she says about not vibing with her titties and wanting to maybe bind is how I feel sometimes</p><p> </p><p>anyway, this will be a series and if school gets cancelled due to corona I will update a lot</p></blockquote></div></div>
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